Who Am I

Maria Friska Theresa L.

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When this eyes are unable to look away, and this soul is already hobbled, I know it's the time to stop. When there are no more leftovers behind the hood, who cares anyway? Family ? It is a foreign word to me. Neighbours? Just looking at me, they're disgusted. I miss that time, where the people respected me, allowed me to walk freely without moving away from me. I miss you, too. Someone who never lost from this thought, not out of love, but of the pain of this feeling. I blame you. Because of you, my name is no longer Henry, but The Old Madman. Why do you make slanders that never dissapear, so until now all leave me. I have nobody to share my story, how this possible to make a clarification. Because of you I blame God, blame this life, blame all who blame me, but it was all in vain. I am still staying alone and nobody accompanying me until the rest of me.

Who exactly am I? Only a fragile piece of wood is eaten by termites. I can not even stand up right. I am old, weak, and helpless. But The Great Spirit still loves me, Nature is the friend He sends to me in the world. They greeted me every time. Only the peace and tranquility I feel while in the midst of nature. I am coming closer in their life and presenting to seduce the majesty of your loving soul. Planting the water-binding trees in the forest area, that's what I've been doing all my life when everyone has left me. State land is not a sure result I enjoy. Not a year or two years I did the things, but it is been 19 years. Not only planting, but also caring for and raising them, including stitching or planting again if the previous plant died. I do this all alone for I realize that I live from nature, not from humans. I live from the land and will return to the ground.

I wrote this letter so that people would know that I had lived as a self-conscious human being, and knew that I was dying. Maybe when this letter is found, I'm already gone. What I want at the end of my life is not gold and gems, but the concern of you who read this letter. Bury my body, more worthy than to bury a dead cat. I just need you to show your humanities as the real human beings and to show to The Majesty that your positions as special beings, still worth. One more thing, tell my ex-wife that I forgive her. My disappointment in the past let it be a life lesson for me, for her, and for everyone. In the end, I hope what I did in this village forest can be exploited by the villagers, and I would be very grateful if you could also take care of it.